I just want to say that being a dude and having been in a similar situation, this sucks big time and I’m sorry you’re dealing with it.
She 100% is planning on having sex with this guy, if something didn’t already happen. Any conversation about seeing other people in an otherwise monogamous relationship is going to be a difficult one, but there IS a right way to do it. She’s not doing it right. She hasn’t been honest with you about how she feels about this guy, and now she’s gaslighting you into thinking there’s nothing wrong and you’re overreacting. She approached this conversation by attempting to manipulate you into being the one who fired the first shot. That’s an awfully shitty way to treat your partner.
She owes you both an apology and a 100% honest conversation about this guy; what happened (if anything), how she feels about him, how long she’s been interested in seeing other people, etc. You have to be completely honest with her about how this has made you feel and whether you think your relationship can withstand this; both the dishonesty and the potential for polyamory.
Again, I’m so sorry you’re going through this. You seem like a good man and you don’t deserve to be treated like this. I hope she can own up to everything and you both can work through this.
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u/No-Roof-1628 24d ago
I just want to say that being a dude and having been in a similar situation, this sucks big time and I’m sorry you’re dealing with it.
She 100% is planning on having sex with this guy, if something didn’t already happen. Any conversation about seeing other people in an otherwise monogamous relationship is going to be a difficult one, but there IS a right way to do it. She’s not doing it right. She hasn’t been honest with you about how she feels about this guy, and now she’s gaslighting you into thinking there’s nothing wrong and you’re overreacting. She approached this conversation by attempting to manipulate you into being the one who fired the first shot. That’s an awfully shitty way to treat your partner.
She owes you both an apology and a 100% honest conversation about this guy; what happened (if anything), how she feels about him, how long she’s been interested in seeing other people, etc. You have to be completely honest with her about how this has made you feel and whether you think your relationship can withstand this; both the dishonesty and the potential for polyamory.
Again, I’m so sorry you’re going through this. You seem like a good man and you don’t deserve to be treated like this. I hope she can own up to everything and you both can work through this.