I (24F) have a degree in Early Childhood Education. Some examples of jobs you can have with this degree are preschool teacher, kindergarten teacher, nanny, childcare/daycare worker, and special education teacher. I love kids and I love getting to make an impact on their lives, which is why I chose to get the degree that I did. But as most people know, at least in the US, teachers are very underpaid. And daycare workers are paid even less than that.

The original plan when I was nearing the end of my degree was that I was going to find a job as a preschool teacher, and even though the pay wouldn't be that great, it would be okay because my fiance (25M) makes very good money and we are both good at saving, so it wouldn't be that big of a deal (and before anyone asks, yes this is something that my fiance and I both agreed on. And no, I am not using him for money).

After I graduated (I didn't graduate until the end of 2023 because for awhile I did college part time so that I could work), I began my job search for a preschool teacher role, but along the way a very wealthy family asked me to be their nanny for their two children (an infant and a toddler). When I say they are wealthy, I mean WEALTHY. The pay they offered me is way above anything I would ever make as a teacher. So I accepted the nannying job.

I work M-F from 8am to 5pm while the parents are at work. I absolutely love this job and I really lucked out. Aside from the fact that they pay me incredibly well, they are also an amazing family to work for. They are so nice and they treat me so well. The mom literally said to me once "We don't even view you as a nanny. We view you as an extension of our family because you are in our home caring for our kids". On top of it, both of the kids are so great. I know eventually the kids will go to school when they're older and the family won't need me anymore, but wealthy people like them have a lot of connections and I know they also have a ton of wealthy friends who haven't even had kids yet but will need a nanny when they do.

Well anyways, my best friend (25F) has a degree in Human Resources and works as an HR Specialist. We were hanging out after work yesterday and got on the topic of our jobs. At one point she said "Don't you wanna use your degree for a real job instead of babysitting?".

That annoyed me, but I didn't wanna fight so I just explained to her that I'm not just "babysitting". With the infant I'm doing things like teaching him how to roll, teaching him how to sit up, tummy time, feeding him, changing his diaper, putting him down for his naps, etc. With the toddler I'm potty training her, teaching her how to count, teaching her the alphabet, working on fine & gross motor skills, creating lesson plans that are educational but engaging, teaching her a TON of stuff. So I am using the knowledge from my degree, the only difference is that opposed to working in a classroom for a school, a family is paying me to teach & care for their children in their home.

She then made a comment about how I'd probably make more money doing something else. I said "no, they actually pay me well above what I could ever make doing anything else in the teaching field". She then asked me how much they pay me, and since we are so close I didn't mind telling her.

Well, once she learned how much I make, she got visibly upset so I asked her what was wrong and she said "Well apparently you make way more than I do when you don't even have a real job".

I have never asked her what she makes so I had no clue that I was making more than her, let alone significantly more than her, so I didn't mean to upset her. But she asked, so I answered.

Anyways, I'm still upset about her comments about me not having a "real" job. Am I overreacting or no?

Edit to add: some comments have brought this topic up so I'll answer that here. It is long hours and I don't get a lunch break. I'm also obviously by myself with the kids all day since I don't have a coworker or anything like more "traditional" jobs do, which can cause it to be hard to even go to the bathroom if I need to since I can't leave them unattended. But fortunately I do have benefits such as health/dental/vision insurance, an IRA for retirement, a certain amount of paid vacation days a year, a certain amount of paid sick days a year, and paid holidays off for all holidays. I also don't have to ever buy myself breakfast or lunch because they tell me to just help myself to making whatever I want to eat in their kitchen. But I know a lot of nannies don't get those benefits, so I do know that I am super lucky to have been given this opportunity by the family I work for :)

Currently in a situation I don’t know how to make sense of. For background, my fiancé and I have been together for a total of 4 years. In the end of 2021, my fiancé and I got engaged. From then, we decided that we would tie the knot this fall (‘24) once I was done with the military. Just a few months ago, he and I deviated from our original marriage plan and discussed eloping this spring/summer. From what I experienced, we were both excited and brought it up every week or so.

Just three weeks ago, I went to my home state and visited family. He came out for a few days to visit, and suggested we should get married when we arrived back to our home. Fast forward to last night, and well… That is why I am here on Reddit now. I had brought up the elopement like we recently discussed and he became quiet. It took about 30 minutes to get it out of him, but we had a discussion and he ultimately let me know that he is not ready for marriage at this time. He said that it’s a huge commitment and he wants to be “100% ready for me physically, mentally, and emotionally”. He keeps letting me know that he still wants to marry me, but he needs to be “ready”. I’ve been pretty distraught since our conversation last night and feel like he’s playing me.

However, it is important that I mention that my fiancé’s dad let him know just 2 weeks ago that he and his mom are planning for a divorce after nearly 30 years together. I know this has altered his perspective of marriage and I’m understanding of that. It just hurts to have someone I love switch up on me so fast. I’m not really sure what to make of this. I offered to move back home so he could have the space to decide what he wants. I feel very strongly about traditional marriage (grew up in an Italian household), and let him know I don’t want to maintain living with him if he’s this unsure.

TDLR: Four years together, engaged for 2.5. My fiance suddenly let me know he isn’t ready for marriage, when just 3 short weeks ago he offered to elope this spring. He found out 2 weeks ago his mom and dad are divorcing after 29 years together. Not sure what to do as we live together.

I live in a residential neighborhood outside Denver. I like to sleep with windows open at night to save $ from running my AC all night. 645 am I woke up to someone using a backpack leaf blower. Loud as all fuck! It was coming from several houses down. I’d say it is a regular occurrence to hear multiple houses having yard work done before 730. I’m not a light sleeper. I feel like I may get roasted for sounding privileged, but I NEED TO KNOW. Am I overreacting to being woken up to early as fuck yardwork? At what time is loud yardwork acceptable?

I feel crazy at this point

I have a six month old son and I work ten hour days my wife watches the kid till I come home then I’m on dad duty. Once my kid falls asleep or the wife wants to spend time with him again I go do chores like wash his bottles or do laundry. Yesterday my wife says to our baby and In front of me that dad only does chores so he doesn’t have to spend time with his kid. She then says I’ll take care of that stuff you can take the baby back. I have the baby till bed time and once he’s asleep I head off to bed myself. I wake up for his morning bottle and none are cleaned and no chores have been done. She then becomes the victim when I asked what happened that she needs breaks too. Which I completely understand but things still need to be done

Too everybody that gave advise thank you so very much! I’ve never been one to ask for help but this thread gave me so much insight and help. Conversations have been had and things have been better. So thanks everyone who took the time to comment ❤️

New to Reddit as well so thank you community has been a blessing. One happy dad here thanks to all of you!

My (45f) newish husband (56m) informed me two days before my dad's 80th birthday party that he wouldn't be attending with me. He bought tickets to a playoff basketball game, but this was just his excuse. Prior to that, I couldn't get him to commit to going, with him actually saying he hoped something would come up so he doesn't have to be there. I thought he was just being a bit of a jerk, so I blew it off assuming he would be there.

Am I overreacting to feel angry and be disappointed that he doesn't seem to ever have had intention of attending? I feel like this is something that spouses just do for one another...

Also, while he isn't close to my family, there are no real issues that can't be ignored for three hours. My family is annoying - I know this, but suck it up, man!

I want you all to be honest with me here. I can take it and I want to learn/get better. I'm also the first person in my family to have a baby so I don't know what's expected.

Am I overreacting that my father may miss the birth of my 1st child?

My dad is traveling to Europe for a golf trip in mid May. My wife is delivering towards the end of May. We might get lucky and the trip and birth won't overlap, but I hear babies have a tendency to come on their on schedules so, who knows. I believe my dad planned this trip before we made our baby announcement (October), but gahhh, this is still rubbing me the wrong way.

More specifically, both by mom and dad are approaching this really nonchalantly. My dad keeps telling my wife and I to "hold it in" for a little longer. And my mom says things to the three of us like "the baby will still be new for awhile", as in to not make my dad feel bad about potentially being away.

We're a privileged family and this is not a once in a lifetime trip for my dad. I don't know, I just couldn't imagine being away for the birth of my first grandchild one day and I especially couldn't image justifying it the way my parents are now.

Am I overreacting?

Edit: Thanks for the thoughts and perspectives everyone. I appreciate the time people offered me here and I’m feeling a lot better.

Hi I’m 16

So the Friday before finals week a club my school does that im in is taking a trip to Houston the Friday before finals week and after we compete we’re staying the weekend and I’m gonna be able to do fun stuff with my friends and I’ve literally been looking forward to it all year, it’s a large part of the reason I even joined the club.

However, my teacher just gave the class a major project and she is making us present it ON the day that my club is leaving. The problem is is that the presenting part is worth 40% of our grade and this id one of the only grades we have for this six weeks, so if I don’t pass it I will probably fail the class since it’s a one semester class.

I tried to talk to her and asked if I could present it early and she said we’re doing final prep all that week and that i won’t be able to do it early. I’m also the only person in my club that’s in economics so I’m the only person with this problem.

I talked to my mom about it and she said I have to do whatever means I won’t fail the class and if I fail I’ll be grounded all summer. I just want to go on the trip thinking about missing out makes me want to cry and I don’t know what to do.

I actually hate that teacher so much why would you make us present on the day you know we’re leaving for a trip. I’ll have to miss a weekend trip for a 10 minute presentation.

Can someone give me advice on what to do, I’m going to talk to my counselor soon to see if there’s anything she can do. I don’t want to be grounded all Sumer or have to retake the class and it’s giving me a lot of anxiety. I literallly cried last night thinking about it.

I’m 25F. I’m seeing a guy. I haven’t known him for long. We’re in the very initial stages. The guy I’m seeing seems nice but sometimes I can’t help but think is he passively mean? I am a paranoid person by nature so maybe it’s my head.

A few things I came across:

He never texts and responds to all my texts very late. A day later.

Challenged me to a match game to see “who’s superior”

We were talking about books. He asked a couple questions. I didn’t know the answer to it. In the next text he was like “do you like physical books? If you do, you can have them in your house to falsely show off you’re a cultured person”

I was saying how I procrastinate until I feel pressure or deadline. He said “don’t worry I’ll give you pressure”

Are these just jokes or red flags? Can someone help?

My lifelong friend has 3 kids. I have none (by choice.) When discussing a new family car for his wife, I said brand xyz have great crash and safety ratings.

His reply was “talk to me when you have kids”, as if I’m incapable of knowing what cars are rated well for safety w/o having a child.

I wanted to say “ok” and hang up on him. I know he didn’t really mean it how I’m taking it, but AIO?

Short edit: Thanks everyone. The conversation wasn’t centered on cars. He was talking about Subarus, his wife has a a Forester. I mentioned Toyotas and Hondas in general, and when I said Hondas have high safety ratings, he gave me that reply. I passed it off and the call naturally ended in 5 mins.

Last year around May, I had moved out of my families house and rented a room at my friends house which is owned by his mom who also lives there. In the beginning, she agreed that she would never go into my room without my permission which sounded perfect to me, I like my privacy as to why I moved out.

Things have been going good so far truthfully and I pay a fair amount to live there. About two days ago, I slept over my girlfriends house and came back home in the morning, and noticed a few things. The dishes I had in my fridge were gone (I had them there because I was cleaning my room and was going to put them in the wash when I got home) , a jar of candy my friend/roommate gave me was gone , a towel I used for my hair was removed, my window was locked and closed, and my fan was off.

Now these aren’t serious things , and none of my personal belongings were missing, but I later found out that she was in my room and claimed “the door was wide open, she saw the towel on the floor and cleaned it up, and took the candy for her son because he gets hungry at night”

Thing is I locked my door, and it’s a little messed up because if you push the door like 3-4 times it’ll unlock, but it doesn’t just magically open like that. So rn I’m debating on moving out because I really do believe she unlocked it with her key and was just in my room for god knows why.

Am I overreacting?

SLIGHT UPDATE ADDED BELOW: Im a teacher and my school had a prom fundraiser for prom where teachers were “wanted” and people had to pay to send them to “jail”. We were told “jail” was an entire teaching block off, catered lunch, and a few other little things. I joined and raised the second most amount of money. We got an email today stating that our catered meals would just be our normal lunch period (I have to switch classrooms across the school at that time so I get maybe 10 minutes for lunch if Im lucky). I emailed the lady back and asked about the block off that was mentioned. She stated that the principal agreed to it and then later took it back because we didn’t have enough resources(subs). I then forwarded that email to the principal and emailed him this:

“I am a bit confused about this situation. I was told at the start of the fundraiser that we were to get the entire block off (along with other very generous things). My contributors donated their money with the idea that they would be helping raise funds for a good cause, but also to give me a little break/treat in the day. They raised a lot of money specifically stating the reward as the reason for donating. Now it seems the reward has been changed after the fundraiser has already happened. While I understand resources and staffing being an issue, I am disappointed with how this situation was handled. I feel like this should have been communicated before we joined the fundraiser, and definitely before any money was collected under false pretenses. My contributors and other teachers are frustrated by this as well. While I am still grateful for the lunch provided, my contributors and I feel lied to and feel this is not what they had originally agreed to donate to.”

He then showed up in my classroom while i was in the middle of teaching and made me come out to the hall to immediately tell me he didn’t appreciate my “terse” email. I told him that I was sorry if that’s how he sees it, but I was just trying to gain some clarity on the situation. He tells me it was a communication issue that his assistant told them yes and then had to tell them no due to resources. I told him that wasn’t really my problem. He left and the. Later sent an email to everyone in the fundraiser calling me out by name for bringing it to his attention. It feels very unprofessional to me but I don’t know if I am just being silly over a small thing

UPDATE: I got an email today stating that there were “slight adjustments” to the fundraiser prize. They called the originally offered lunch an “additional lunch” and expanded on the “spa” portion by now offering us a “longer service” on an “upcoming Sunday” of our choice. I don’t have free Sundays and this is not what my donors donated for.

This is an old story that I am just now telling because my ex is finally gone gone. We broke up in Oct after being together a year. But he only considered it official for like 4 months of that and even then I “forced him to label it”. He never really wanted me in a relationship capacity. (Ik ik)

I made the mistake of meeting up with him recently and it turns out now the brother hates me from my fights with my ex over my importance in his life, and he had the audacity to tell me he’s seeing someone else now - while was with me - and she is more agreeable than me. (Those who know me say I’m pretty darn agreeable lol) I’m not going to be a doormat for them any longer.

Also Ik you guys think I’m being mean saying he is emotionally dating his brother, but I promise if they weren’t brothers you’d think they were a couple. There is more to the story I can tell if you want. But gosh I feel I’m being nice by just saying that. It really feels like he is in a thruple with his bro and the bro’s gf.

i’m having a hard time w this and told my boyfriend i need space.

we’re all in college. ed raped me in 2021, after a bunch of us ran into each other at a bar on campus. i started dating my boyfriend a few months later but we all have known each other for awhile. i was passed out and ed took advantage of that. i didn’t tell him for a long time bc i was uncomfortable and ed lived in the same building so he was always around, i just told my boyfriend i thought he was weird and would avoid him when i could. a few months ago i told my boyfriend what happened. he hasn’t seen ed since and says he dislikes him and that he’s a bad person. a few weeks ago, one of ed’s parents died after a long terminal illness. i’ve said it’s very sad when someone dies and that i feel bad for the family, since his family is close with my boyfriends family.

my boyfriend commented on his post, as well as had a whole text text exchange w ed about how much he misses him and that hes his brother and he’s there for him and he loves him etc. he has now hung out with this person twice in the last week. when he told me ed was at his house tonight i told him it makes me really uncomfortable that he’s actively hanging out with the person that assaulted me. it makes me feel nauseous and sick and i could feel it in my whole body. my boyfriend is supposed to protect me and be on my side. it feels really disrespectful and im really upset but not sure what to do. my bf just keeps saying ‘well his dad died’. i feel like if im in a relationship w someone i dont want them to be talking to, texting, hanging out or having anything to do with someone that sexually assaulted and violated me, regardless of a parent dying. it doesn’t change what ed did to me and i feel like a bad person for saying it but i really don’t care if his whole family died in a house fire, why are you, as my significant other ok w being in the same room as him knowing what he did and what he’s capable of? i love my boyfriend very much but this might be too big of a deal for me to get past but maybe i am overreacting. i dont know.

Okay so I’m (18f) usually a very cautious person unless it comes to cars, they are basically metal death box where ur not only putting urself at risk but passengers and pedestrians, that why I believe that u should always be cautious and aware when driving.

My brother (23M) very recently got his driving license and uses my mum car when she allows him to, I’ve never driven with him before since he is very new to the road, so he doesn’t have a lot of driving experiences, (I’d rather drive with someone who driven for longer time who is more use to the road, Ie driven on a motorway which my brother has never done, so I mostly drive with my mum around which I don’t even trust her completely).

My mum recently hurt her foot and she asked my brother to drive me to go get her stuff (she didn’t trust that he could find the stuff she wants), I at first refused and started panicking, but ultimately decided I needed to get over my fear and said yes,(also my younger brother (17M) decided he wanted to come I refused to go if he was going cuz those boys are not a good mixed especially when I’m feeling vunrable).

So my two brothers and I when to the shop to get it, admittedly the drive there was fine, but there was less people on the road as it was night, so it might be different at day time .

Where it went wrong for me was the drive back, at first it was fine, then my brother was going a tiny bit fast (that was fine) but I closed my eyes during that and when I opened my eyes my two brothers were banging their heads to the loud music ( that was fine but given my cautions it was annoying) but then my older brother decided he was “feeling the music”?? And just decided to take his hands off the wheel to like dance with them , so I start telling him to put his hands back on the wheel multiple times while he told me it was fine, I close my eyes back up again.

We came to a stop at a light when all of a sudden my younger brother decided he was feeling the music even more then before and started hitting me (which I don’t know why) so I told him not to him me and hit him back.

When we got home (I got out the car earlier then them) i went upstairs to give my mum her stuff and I told her that I don’t want to be in the car with my brother driving again, she’s asked what happened and I tell her, she understands where I’m coming from since she knows how I feel about it and says he shouldn’t have done that knowing how I feel about it and she will tell him and told me he won’t drive the car again, I told he can drive the car but just not with me in it.

anyways both my brother come upstairs and my older brother asked me how was the drive and I tell him I don’t want to drive with him again and my mum also tells him off, both my brothers tried to deny what happened in the car my older brother saying that he was just cracking his knuckles in which I tell him that’s a weird way to crack ur knuckles, but both my brothers are saying I’m overreacting, and I don’t know maybe I am, so AIO, for possibly causing my brother not to be able drive my mums car.

Also just to add my mum at first didn’t realise that she was asking me to get in the car with my brother driving for the first time she thought I was reluctant due to not wanting to get dressed and it being nighttime, but when she realised she apologised and said she forgot, but I already said I would go

I'll do my best to not make this too long....

so my stepdaughter is now age 16, lives with her mother, and has had weekend visits with her father (my partner) for over 10 years, since after her mother moved out when she was around 3 or 4 years old.

My stepdaughter had a bit of a difficult time with her parents seperating pretty abruptly when she was a young age, and understandably, was a bit standoff-ish toward me in the beginning of us meeting/getting acquainted when me and her father got together and started living together. Mind you me and her mother had no issues or problems. as far as i knew... i was respectful, polite, respected boundaries... there were no issues between us. Then things became a bit more, awkward? when her mother asked her father if he could take her more days out of the week, because she needed to work, but he told her that I was the only one available to supervise/watch her during the time that she needed, because he also worked, and so yeah, my stepdaughter then went from standoff-ish to flat out annoyed with me now being her sitter at her fathers house. I was just trying to be helpful for the situation. and now things make alot more sense to me why things were a bit difficult with trying to form a good relationship in the beginning, after this upsetting conversation that her and I had awhile back...

So about a year ago, me and my stepdaughter are talking, and I find out from my stepdaughter, that when she was 5 years old mind you (over 10 years ago) her and her mother were supposedly talking about me, and her mother basically told her that one of the reasons that her mother left her father, is because her father and I were having an affair while her mother and father were living together... but this story isn't true whatsoever. We started seeing eachother several months after her mother had already moved out with her. The math ain't mathing whatsoever.

I was very upset. I was nearly in tears. I took some time to calm down as to not react immediately. several weeks of not saying anything about it to her mother, but I did immediately tell her father, and he was pretty mad as well that she told her daughter such a lie. Eventually, I texted/confronted her mother about this lie/story, asked her why on earth did she tell her then 5 year old daughter such a terrible lie about me, in an obvious attempt to pit her child against me, and for what reasons exactly?? and her mother just basically refused to respond to me. that was several months ago that my stepdaughter told me this, and her mother just kind of decided that she will just avoid me/refuse to speak to me after asking her about this. I'm just floored honestly. It never happened but she has let her daughter think so for over a decade.

AIO to still be very angry/upset that she told this ridiculous/malicious lie to her daughter about me and her father?

AIO to not ever want to speak to my stepdaughters mom again after finding out that she did this?

Soooo, my wife is moving because of us not working out anymore. A lot of abuse from her like, shit gets deep. I believe she is narcissistic but im not a psychologist so what do I know? When she was moving we discussed everything, we didnt get divorce yet. We still thought we might work things out but not anymore. We discussed the cats and agreed that they should stay with me since I have been taking care of them for years by my self, like she has done not one single chore for these cats. Im sure if she keeps them their litter box wont be cleaned for weeks at a time. She never takes care of them and they have medical issues right now and require special care. I am totally losing my mind, she just took them with her when moving taking her things out of the house. She said don't be at the house and leave and I left, she then proceeded to steal the fucking cats. They are like my kids I really need them for support right now too I am just crying like crazy can't believe this. She quite literally took them with lies when we agreed they should have stayed with me. Called the cops they said you guys need to get a document of separation and write the ownership on that document. Until then as we are married I cant pursue legal action at all because its not technically stealing apparently:D im loosing it yall tell me somethingg

I met him on vacation, and we hung out for two days. I'm a socially anxious person, but with him, I felt like I've known him for years. One night, he told other teenagers that he liked me. They all told me, and they were hyping me up saying stuff like "look your boyfriend's here". I was so excited. I never had a guy like me before. Ever. All my life, I was treated as a freak, so I was just glad for this opportunity for something special. So I went up to him and asked him if he liked me. He told me he had a girlfriend, and got really mad at our friends for telling me.

He cut off all contact with me after. I blocked him on Instagram after he rejected my Instagram request. I was so sad that the guy I liked decided it would be best if he never saw me again. The one person who saw me for all the good I have to offer, and he still gave it up. They broke up two months later, and he still looks at my social media. I don't forgive him. I'm not mad at him for having a girlfriend. I'm just mad at him for saying he was into me when he knew full well that he couldn't be with me, even if he wanted to. But do you know what the worst part of it is? I still miss him everyday.

So,I am a 36f and my partner of 7 years is 40m. We have a great relationship, rarely argue, love being with each other, and trust each other. However, I am really getting irritated bc he has never posted a pic of us on his social media- he doesn't use or post on SM much but he def posts a selfie or something every few months. I'm close with his family and know his friends, and I post stuff of us all the time and he's tagged in it so ppl know we r together and it's never been a secret of any kind anyways. I know he finds me attractive so I don't feel like it's anything to do with that- I really just don't understand and dont want to make a huge deal about it but it's starting to really bother me. Any thoughts or suggestions?

I am a perfectionist with ocd, and sometimes can't tell if something is a real threat or not. I woke up an hour and a half after work had already started. I immediately called in, and they marked me down as absent. I am freaking out because I can't tell if this is something that is seen as extremely unprofessional and unreliable, or if it's just something understandable.

For reference, It is fine to call out sick without a doctors note, and being late once or twice a year is usually in the safe zone. I feel I have crossed a new boundry by not calling in soon enough.

Edit: Being over an hour late means you might as well not even show up. So I was marked as absent

Partner (35m) and I (30f) have been dating almost a year. Our relationship is good but our only problem had been his ex. They share the same friends, and he told me they were on friendly terms. I said it wouldn’t bother me as long as no one is weird about it. She was. Long story short - she was aggressively friendly and I was uncomfortable, he told her to calm down, she started being just aggressive at me (shoulder checking me, calling me names to people, she would physically interrupt conversations when I would talk to people she knew, etc). When something would happen, I would tell my partner, he said to ignore it and it will stop. It didn’t but it got to the point I said something mean around her and now she hates us/said never speak to her again.

During our relationship, this is almost a biweekly thing until march. I’d go out without him, she’d do something, I would tell him, he said ignore it and it’ll stop, I did and it continued, rinse repeat. Over time, these conversations would just trigger my partner - he would become so defensive and eventually aggressive about it. Telling me to just drop it, it happened months ago, get over it. His reactions to my talking about it makes me feel like my feelings and hurt don’t matter since time has passed and I should just shut up. Currently I’m talking to my therapist again and we’re talking about the drama and my resentment over it. So that’s where it stands now.

Wednesday we go on a date. I’m talking to him and I was going to share a conversation about this situation between myself and therapist to him. I paused and asked if he was okay with that. He said it’s fine. I continued that I know he gets upset when I talk about what the ex has done to me. And he snips back that she didn’t do anything to me recently. I did not hear the recently part. I sharply say she’s shoulder checked me and texted him names about me so she def did things to me. And he’s on high defense. He just says Ok I need you to stop yelling at me in the restaurant. And I said I wasn’t, it’s just loud and I can’t hear myself. I shut down till we leave.

In the car on the way to his home, he’s saying why can’t I stop talking about this it’s done with just stop bringing up old stuff. And I’m in tears just repeating that I was just asking a question and corrected him. He’s now saying we can’t be together tonight and I’m crying. We argue, with him yelling at me that I’m obsessed with drama and gossip. I’m crying that I just want to be with him and that this stuff has hurt me. He responds that nothing has happened for months and why don’t I just let it go and if I didn’t say something mean to her then it wouldn’t be this bad, he doesn’t need this in his life, this is why he wants space from me, etc. I’m crying sitting on the floor and repeating that I just asked a question why is this happening. He goes to the bathroom and I grab my stuff. I tell him that the way he’s talking to me does not make me feel good and I don’t like it. He’s still angry and as I’m leaving I say “have a good life then”. I didn’t mean it and texted him that. Went home sobbing all night. We text about it. With him saying that he doesn’t want things to end, this is our only issue and if we’re going to stay in a relationship then this cannot be ongoing.

I’m wondering if I am overreacting? What should I have done differently???

Okay a lot of these posts are so obvious where the person is NOT overreacting. For this one I think I really might be. I have a best friend I’ve been friends with for 20 years. She is recently divorced and single. I’d consider her and my husband friends because the three of us have hung out a lot over the last decade, and he’s even pretty close to her family (because I am as well). We have a group chat of memes, but lately she’s been private messaging him memes and TikToks. The timing is also weird. If I open up to her about issues I’m having, she messages him that same day. It’s happened multiple times now. In one example I had made a comment about how I didn’t like Star Wars even though he did, and she messaged him a Star Wars TikTok that same day (she doesn’t like Star Wars either! I was so confused!) the other 2 times were pretty random memes/jokes but the timing was also the same day I mentioned some minor rift in the relationship. I don’t divulge much or speak negatively, just opening up about life as best friends do. My husband and I have a wonderful marriage and I wouldn’t consider it at risk. Even my husband agreed the messages and frequency has gotten unusual, and he just “likes” the message or gives a short reply, and he always tells me when he does it. Today it happened AGAIN after I opened up about my insecurities (I’m 7 weeks postpartum). Given the sensitive nature of what I opened up to her about, I’m pretty irate at her DMing my husband again today.

This is my BEST friend, we talk every day, and once I bring this up to her (if I ever do) I fear making our dynamic super awkward. So I really don’t want to mention it unless the consensus is that it’s weird.

Editing to add— she has been SO SUPPORTIVE of me over the years. Even with my new baby she’s gifted me so many hand me downs from her kid and has generally been a very loving person in my life. She’s really been a wonderful friend so it’s hard to fathom she could really have negative intent here.

Another edit to clarify- all the people asking why I share relationship details with her— because she’s my best friend and we always have? This is a recent pattern (like in the last month) and the first two times I convinced myself it was nothing and that I was being crazy. But yeah I’m definitely done divulging any details to her now and understand that isn’t good practice (even if this issue wasn’t happening)

I still feel like a lot of this advice (cut her out, block her, etc) is a bit much considering we’re talking a few memes/tiktoks and nothing inappropriate yet. I guess I just wanted a gut check on if I was wrong to be uncomfortable with DMs. appreciate all the advice!

———— Update/Last edit 😅 wow I never expected this much traction on this post. So… the last DM she sent him he only “liked.” She actually sent ME a screenshot and said “he doesn’t get the joke.” It’s impossible to know for sure, but my hunch is she realized he was being distant and wanted to send me the screenshot to seem like she was being transparent. But it provided a great “in” for this awkward convo. I replied “He gets the joke, he’s just limiting the banter in private messages because he knows it makes me uncomfortable. And I noticed the tiktok DMs too, but hadn’t said anything yet. I’d appreciate if we just use the group chat for stuff like that” to which she said, “Oh sorry! I wasn’t thinking. I’ll use the group chat from now on”

So… I guess it’s resolved for now. I still find the whole thing suspicious and I do wonder if she was seeking validation. My husband agreed if another message comes in, he’ll be the one to say to keep it in group chat. My main takeaway is that I obviously won’t be sharing any relationship details or insecurities moving forward. I’ll be keeping my guard up for a while.

My step sister (Karla) lives with my Dad and my step mum around 40 minutes from where i stay with my mum. Karla’s Dad stays in another country, Karla would visit him often.

Growing up the arrangement would always be that I would see my Dad on Saturdays and we would go on little day trips together.

However I am now almost 16 years old and Karla is 19. In a couple of months Karla is going to move out to study abroad. This has caused Karla to spend more time with family before she leaves and has started coming with me and my Dad on our Saturday trips.

Ive never realised this before, but the more i spent time with Karla and my Dad together I realised how much closer Karla is to my Dad compared to me.

One time they were both having one of those “remember when” conversations and i found out my Dad went to all of her shows, events, sports days, parents evenings, fairs and football practices. The only thing I can remember him ever showing up to something of mine was my school Nativity when I was five (which he was late to)

So I said “You dont show up to any of my stuff Dad” Which he replied with “Well your Mum makes it very hard for me to do so” Which is false, my mum has invited him to so many events he didn’t even turn up to.

This just made me really mad and i got quite upset. There was a lot of back and forth before i said very angrily “Karla isn’t even your real daughter” Which I could tell upset Karla. My Dad told me i was overreacting and that he had only showed up to more of Karla’s events as it was easier. And it didn’t matter who he was “closer” to.

This happened a couple of weeks ago and things have been awkward since. Im wondering if i did overreact.

He’s 6, I’m 19 and we’re playing in a world together. I’m working on something small and I told him he can build in it when I’m done, not trying to be immature I just wanted to try something I saw on Pinterest. But my mom said it’s weird of me to not let him build in my house and now I feel like I’m being immature. So am I overreacting and acting like a child? Or is it fine of me to do this?