r/AITAH • u/ResearchIll9654 • 11d ago
AITAH for "robbing" my wife's affair partner which has now lead to his divorce?
I (32) have been married to my soon to be ex-wife (30), Madison, for four years. We are currently in counseling but it is not going to work.
About a year ago I found out she was having an affair by coming home to their clothes in our living room and sounds coming from our bedroom.
I lost it. I was getting my cricket bat out of the front closet when I stopped to think about consequences. I did not want to go to jail.
Instead I took all their clothes and left quietly. I went to a friend's house but not before throwing all the clothes in a McDonald's garbage can.
I turned off my phone and got shitfaced with my buddy. His wife hosed us off in the morning.
After I turned my phone back on I had dozens of calls and texts from Madison. First scared because she got my updated flight information. Then upset that I hadn't called her to let her know I was going to be coming home early. Then freaked out that the house had been broken into. Then crazy because she figured out it was me. They just got more deranged.
The guy she was with is five inches shorter than me and about 60 pounds lighter. So if he had taken my clothes it would be obvious.
He ended up calling his friend to go get his spare keys from his house. Unfortunately for him his wife smelled a rat and followed his friend back to my house. Where she saw him leaving in oversized clothes.
Long story short she took pictures and she had evidence of his infidelity. Which caused their prenup to be cancelled. Which cost him a lot of money. It is all one big giant shit show.
It took a couple of months but my wife convinced me to try and forgive her. We started going to counseling and we were working our way through it. Until recently.
In a counseling session she said that I was wrong to steal his wallet, phone, and car keys. She said that his divorce is costing him a lot of money and that I should have dealt with it in a more mature manner and that it was my fault.
I have never admitted to taking his stuff. To begin with I was afraid he might call the cops. Then I didn't want to give her ammunition in case she wanted a divorce. Now I just don't care.
I told her that her cheating was the reason her boyfriend is getting divorced. And that I hope his ex takes everything.
I am still not living at home. I have my own apartment and I'm filing for divorce. Now that I know how she feels it is kind of a slap in the face that she is blaming me for his divorce.
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u/americanlaurel 8h ago
You sound like a very nice, incredibly thoughtful, reasonable guy who deserves better. Applaud you for moving on.
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u/Pristine_Cookie913 15h ago
Brother, the fact that she KNOWS all the aftermath, is a dead givesway they are still in touch. 0 accountability. RUUUUN
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u/_Synt3rax 16h ago
Lmao " You shouldve been more mature instead of getting him a Divorce" She shouldve been Woman enough to just cut her Ties with OP instead of ruining his Life like that and instead of getting her shit together, she thibks she didnt do anything wrong.
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u/LtMaddog938 1d ago
If I were to be in that position i too would take the guys clothes. But I would not put them in the trash. I'd opened his wallet found his name and address, looked him up and once I saw he was married; I'd taken his stuff and gave it to his wife and told her exactly where he was. Then I'd went directly to a lawyer and filed for divorce. There is no coming back from cheating. Especially when your spouse cheats in your own home in your own bed. I'd also told her parents, my parents, and every friend we had.
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u/Legal-Ad-7077 1d ago
He need to use the affair as a blessing, because the real person he married has been revealed. Divorce is the only answer.
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u/JudgeHarryStone 1d ago
I don’t remember what the consensus was last time this was posted. But YTAH for making this up or copying word for word from when it was posted months ago.
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u/Opposite-Patience-70 2d ago
I’m fairly new to Reddit. What does AP mean and NTA LOL is there a place to learn all the Reddit lingo
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u/dandy_ahole23 2d ago
Here's a large list but most aren't relevant https://www.reddit.com/r/EncyclopaediaOfReddit/wiki/2/#wiki_acronyms_1.3A_a-l
AP - Affair Partner
NTA - Not the A-hole
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u/Positive_Emotion_150 3d ago
I wouldn’t go to counselling with her anymore, doesn’t sound productive at all. Sounds like a blame session with no accountability on her end, and that is going to lead to no healing on yours.
Not the asshole at all.
I threw pants out that belonged to the girl I caught my ex banging lol. They were pretty nice jeans, but I have an ass and thighs and she did not, so in the trash they went 😂
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u/Eyes-Bee_rollin 3d ago
Ummm but for her cheating ways would you be in a position to remove objects that did not belong to you from your own home. I say F them both
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u/terrifictimer 4d ago
You ruined her future financial prospects with her adulterer, of course she's going to be mad, but it's well deserved for both parties in the wrong. I wouldnt even loose sleep. NTA
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u/Evelyn_Waugh01 4d ago
OP, please stop wasting time with your wife. Life’s short and you deserve so much better.
Are you the AH?
Obviously, no. The old adage rings true: play stupid games; win stupid prizes.
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u/jeff713wpa 4d ago
First, condolences on this unfortunate turn of of events, been there, done that. But kudos on your outcome, seems they are all getting what they deserve.
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u/Responsible_Ad3141 4d ago
Dude she’s literally still advocating for him and upset that you inconvenienced him for banging your wife. She’s 100% still banging him. Like you said “her boyfriend” that’s literally still her boyfriend especially now that he’s out a wife. She’s worried about his finances? Yikes. If she were truly recommitting to you, he should be dead to her. Instead she’s trying to make you apologize for his situation? Divorce the bitch yesterday. Counseling was a mistake but good on you for giving it one last chance. Don’t give it another.
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5d ago
Not TAH and this was very satisfying to read. Cheaters deserve what they get. Also it’s not like you stole his keys and wallet intentionally. They were probably in his pockets of his clothes on YOUR floor while he banged your wife in your bed. Of course she would say something like that. She probably thinks he wants to “be with her” and she’s being loyal.
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u/gsdavis44 5d ago
NTA. You should have taken the clothes to his front door. Sometimes people get killed over this
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u/Squiggleart 5d ago
Hahahaha So It's YOUR fault they had an affair and YOUR fault his divorce ended because his wife got curious? Also it was YOUR fault you didn't give her a heads up, and YOUR fault she didn't hide the affair?
Jesus, you are the definition of gaslighting in wikipedia. I thought after my first marriage I was the definition... nope, you got it...
Leave her, laugh at her, and reach out to the other soon to be ex, and offer condolences, and maybe her thanks :) DO NOT STAY WITH HER!! As a happily reengaged man, with a horrible ex, one who I was once terrified to leave too... I BEG OF YOU DONT STAY!! It will get better!!
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u/Tex-1962 5d ago
Big time NTA run, don't walk, run away from this woman. She refuses to take any responsibility for the biggest betrayl you can commit in a marriage or her primary role in destroying another marriage.
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u/HeIsCorrupt 6d ago
Another one of these "really" stories....never says he loves his wife, just that he thought they might salvage the marriage - why? what marriage...
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u/1King_Solomon 6d ago
No NTA, but your wife must be really special for you to even listen to such baloney. Your marriage is toast and you shouldn't consider staying with someone so entitled, because there will be a next time.
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u/Vbassjrnms 6d ago
Cheaters don't deserve forgiveness. Amazing how they are so narcissistic that they blame others for their own actions. Anything but me....
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u/BillAttaway 6d ago
A lot of those posting comments think this story was made up by OP. It might be. There are some holes in it. Nonetheless, it’s a good story and it’s interesting to imagine what you would have done if you were OP. I am so happy. I’ve never had this problem. What would I have done? One thing I would’ve thought about was to gather up my wife’s and his clothes along with his wallet and phone put them in a bag. His wallet should have his address on it so just bring the bag over to that address knock on the door, and hand them to the guy’s wife. Tell her that you found these items in your living room and perhaps she could return them to her husband. I have no advice for OP.
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u/SubstantialFigure273 6d ago
NTA and tell her to STFU. You simply reacted to the shitstorm the two of them wrought upon your life and that of his wife
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u/Recent-Memory-5503 6d ago
Fake. Too detailed and from a brand new account. These ragebaits is making this community derail….
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u/Reader_47 6d ago
I could get behind throwing away his clothes but not his wallet, phone or car keys.A dumpster diver could have used his cash and credit cards or used information in the wallet to steal his identity.
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u/MoreStupiderNPC 6d ago
NTA and you know it. Sorry for this mess and I wish you the best moving forward.
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u/hybriddragonfly 7d ago
Reality read reddit women are going through a sexual revolution They are the cheaters They are the hotwives They are the ones telling their husbands I want to open the relationship so many poly under duress stories EVERYWHERE (worst one was story promoting Poly in medium of 10 couples woman post pardum made hubby become stay at home parent...wouldn't fuck him...went to work 6 months later tells him I want to open the relationship I'm going to fuck a coworker tomorrow or you can file divorce...he loves her he lets her she comes home and says he makes me come better than you hes gonna call you and tell you how to fuck me better ....dude was crushed just broke his heart they never mentioned that couple again am sure dude filed for divorce)
Women have the power in dating apps Women think they can always get better cause that what the media social media pushes
Wife and I have been married 37 years my kids saw a romantic relationship growing up ...were taught to treat people with respect and we talked to both of them about dating when they asked (of course they did opposite) I have a daughter in her 30s on her 3rd marriages ....she thinks marriage is temporary keeps cheating and upgrading to another man.... My son is 34 he has given up for he was left on alter by his fiance ...she just disappeared day before marriage...morning of he calls me says " Katie left me told me to get checked of herpes " he got them....ruined him he has dated but every one that he starts to like eventually says " I'm in a poly relationship and would just want to occasionally fuck you" so now he states up front "I don't want a open relationship " ....in llittle town in TN he is having tough sledding for women are into nesting partners and a lot of dick!
All I know is if I had to be in this current world single.....I would become a monk....can't do open relationships can't handle cheaters (wife cheated once when we were young took years to forgive her) maybe be a passport bro😂 but since I'm military seen alot of "green card" ladies profess love to get to America and dump the dude
It's a madhouse out there
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u/Double-Cheese- 7d ago
It IS costing him a lot of money? And she's still defending him? Are we sure they stopped seeing each other?
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u/k_manweiss 7d ago
She still cares more about the other guy than you.
She thinks you stealing his stuff was the problem. She thinks your actions are causing his divorce. She thinks your actions are costing him a lot of money. She thinks your actions were immature. She feels sorry for this other man, and the things that are happening to him.
End it. It wasn't some emotionless fling for physical fun. She has feelings for him. She still does. She feels bad for his losses because she sees it as her losses also. She wanted them to divorce, and she wanted to be with him. Now that looks less fun because he's getting cleaned out.
Staying with her would just prolong the problem. In a few months, a few years, when the other relationship is dissolved and the dust has settled, he will make contact again, and she will start the affair again.
She regrets you coming home early. She regrets you not warning her. She regrets you finding out. She regrets getting caught. She regrets you ruining his life. She doesn't regret ruining yours.
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u/NaztyNapkinz 7d ago
The fact she’s trying to blame you for everything is sickening. I’m glad you’re costing him a lot of money it sounds like karma. I hope you take your wife to the cleaners too
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u/Mrvilica7 7d ago
hahahahhahah sorry friend to hear all that , i am preatty calm human , or i wanna think that for myself , but if i hear her say that shit that she said i would lost it at that sight and chose violence , i am sorry to say that , but it has nothing to do with gender , nothing to do with equality , it would be just common sense and my fist of fury. where did you find that trash at first place . my man keep shit together but that sentece would be forever NO.
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u/SixSigmaLife 7d ago
You are so NTA. She actually thinks it was your fault that his prenup was cancelled and not their whoring ways? Wow. Just when you think you've heard it all. Use her infidelity in your divorce proceedings. If you don't, she is going to blame her failed marriage on her very reasonable spouse. Good luck.
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u/Fast-Switch-2533 8d ago
She’s mad that you ruined their prenup so now she doesn’t benefit from his money. Good for you. I probably would have gone with the cricket bat. Proud of your restraint.
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u/National_Coast_1913 8d ago
I remember when I caught my ex cheating I found out the other girl also had a boyfriend she lived with. I immediately found him on instagram and sent a message telling him everything. A few hours later my ex calls irate bc now the other girl is pissed and I ruined her life. Ummm… NO. SHE ruined her own life when she cheated. All I did was tell the truth, I’m sure that’s a hard co copy for her to understand. Do not let your wife gaslight you! Best wishes.
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u/wellhungblack1 8d ago
Jesus, these stories make me grateful to be single, but I still long for something exclusive and lifelong. The struggle of being human.
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u/plaignard 8d ago
1) NTA; 2) Stealing the clothes is hilariously petty. 3) The fact that stealing the clothes led to him being busted, violating the prenup, and losing tons of money is even more hilarious and an ideal outcome. 4) Sorry your STBX is such a shitty person and that this is happening to you. You are right to move on.
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u/DeliciousRevolution0 8d ago
First off, I'm sorry. You didn't deserve that. Second, no you arent TAH. Compared to how some people react or you could've reacted, your reaction was realitively tame. Lastly, the fact that your soon to be ex wife blames you for her boyfriend getting caught cheating is ridiculous. It isn't your fault he wasn't faithful and blaming you feels like she's mad she got caught but can't find any waynto justify it so she's mad her bf got caught because that's slightly less disgusting.
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u/SketchyPornDude 8d ago
NTA.
I wouldn't even be surprised if she's trying to get you to snitch on yourself. Get your divorce, and start over, man. None of this is worth enduring, just move on to a new chapter.
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u/UseObjectiveEvidence 8d ago
NTA. Lol your STBXW just gave herself away. If she knows about the pre-nup and the details of AP divorce. Sounds like she is still in contact with him. She has just shown you how serious she is about this reconciliation. RUN!
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u/No_Tough_7320 8d ago
NTA. So she cheats, in your bed, they get caught, and somehow this is all your fault. If he had so much money perhaps he should have sprung for a hotel or something.
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u/TheEnchantedHearth 8d ago
People who have affairs always think everyone should be discreet and polite about what they've done, and that it's not right for them to have consequences.
Sorry, thus isn't a one time cheater. She has the mentality.
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u/Izunami14 8d ago
Idk why yall post on this sub like yall already don't know your NTA. But hey, more drama.
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u/Horror-Jellyfish-909 8d ago
You are NOT the A hole and have every right to be upset. I would have done far worse, and they deserve every bit of karma coming their way for their indiscretion and disloyalty. Move on with your life and be happy. You deserve so much better.
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u/PenguinNeo 8d ago
What you did, was probably the best decision IMHO. Counseling? What does that do except for extra waste of time and money. Divorce and move on with your life. There are so many great women in this world that will be faithful to your relationship.
P.S. And please, do not undermine yourself. 60lbs lighter or 60lbs heavier, 5 inches taller or 5 inches shorter is all irrelevant, all that can be changed easy. What can't be changed is the fact that someone is a traitor.
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u/Skylarketheunbalance 8d ago
Two things can be true at the same time
- It was wrong to take his property. Vigilante justice is not moral.
- The consequences he suffered for being caught cheating by his wife are no one’s responsibility but his own.
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u/Rude-Calligrapher803 8d ago
To be honest, that was probably one of the more mature ways to deal with it. Maybe not his phone or car keys, as that could end up becoming a theft charge (I think). But clothes, and no bodily damage? Pretty kind reaction to uncovering adultery.
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u/Yorfavoritemartian 9d ago
She’s not taking responsibility for her actions. That’s really all you need to know.
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u/Aggravating_Draw1073 9d ago
NTA. You are my hero. Very smart to put down the cricket bat. What you did was far worse to him and he deserved every cent it is costing him in his divorce.
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u/HeywardC97 9d ago
You’re not the ahole you’re the hero of all dudes who have been cheated on. You should drink for free the rest of your life
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u/Brain124 9d ago
NTA. Nice! That's pretty good revenge not gonna lie, but you definitely should not have reconciled with her.
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u/Nofriggenwaydude 9d ago
Bravo 👏🏼 being the bigger person did pay off here for you and good on you for moving on and not forgiving because not everyone deserves that.
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u/MsThrilliams 9d ago
NTA. Wouldn't be surprised if the cheating husband insisted on a prenuptial with his wife thinking she'd cheat and he's mad he got caught
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9d ago
Your right to start a new life. She’s trying to blame you for her bed buddy . She’ll wonder again, move on and at some point you’ll find someone (if you want)
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u/gardeninlovr 9d ago
My BFF used to have an in home daycare. She listed hourly, daily and weekly rates. I'd update your policy to have these options. That way you can base what you charge him based on a better scale.
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u/Otherwise_Degree_729 9d ago
NTA. I cannot believe her. She is trying to blame his divorce on you. Not her sleeping with a married man in the home she shares with her husband. I know all cheaters are shitty people but the ones that bring the affair partner in the home they live with their partners are a 100 times worse.
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u/NoAct3521 9d ago
All you did was take clothes, he called his buddy to rescue him which lead to his wife tailing him. Sounds like a case of I sold my self out.
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u/blackcomb-pc 9d ago
Any cheating should be handled with extreme prejudice. Because what follows after is you getting fucked over all the way.
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u/Mysterious_Mention88 9d ago
Yea don’t get back w her bud, fly free babey, you don’t deserve what she’s gonna put you through
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u/Morbid187 9d ago
Instead I took all their clothes and left quietly. I went to a friend's house but not before throwing all the clothes in a McDonald's garbage can.
I turned off my phone and got shitfaced with my buddy. His wife hosed us off in the morning.
Bravo. NTA at all. Anyone saying you handled it immaturely probably hasn't dealt with the sheer anxiety/anger/adrenaline that comes with catching your partner cheating on you. If he's a married man then I have no sympathy for him in this situation even if he didn't know about you.
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u/67grammy 9d ago
Naw dude not the problem. That’s messed up. She is married and messing around with a married man. You weren’t the one that caused the issue. Him having to leave your house. Without his clothes, wallet, cash and keys, was your punishment on him. Beating him up would have only hurt you in the long run. You would have been in jail, had charges and Madison would have had leverage in the divorce. The guy was a total pos for screwing your wife in your bed. I hope his wife takes him for EVERYTHING.
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u/New_Principle_9145 9d ago
NTA- so no culpability for the wife and the AP being responsible for his and now her divorce in her mind? Run, do not walk to the attorney and file. Sheesh. I would have loved to be a fly on the wall when she saw that text. Good on you for how you handled it initially. You are kinder than me, because there would have been no counseling. Good luck with the divorce.
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u/LevelProper5459 9d ago
The fact you didn't just throw the both of them in the bin there and then is a "hats off to you" 🫡
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u/tech01010 9d ago
How does she know whats happening to him? She has feelings for him, she cares more about his feelings then yours.
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u/propixelmedia 9d ago
dude you did everything right. better than most. please get the heck out of there. you don't owe anyone anything.
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u/NefariousnessEast505 9d ago
She is still, at the very least, talking to him.
Also, cheating tolerance for anybody should be zero. Counseling will never fix that.
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u/Cola3206 9d ago edited 9d ago
I love that the night of sex cost lover boy his prenup Fabulous! OP you are a hero! Now find the love of your life. Don’t ever give that Beach another look. You are the man! I’m glad you didn’t do something stupid w the bat. But cool move w the clothes. Get out of counseling w her- get for you after laughing your ass off if needed. She will need it for sure! Transfer all your money from shared bank accts. Change beneficiary to insurance policy. If have paycheck direct deposit - change to your new bank acct. move unless home- let attorney take care of that. clean out all valuables - hers too. Oops y daisy - I don’t know what happened to that. Get TVs etc. all things that are money. They are yours too so you have a right to them . You are in control. Do it bc she will take while thinking you are grieving. Be proactive. Move your butt! She’s rocking and reeling and dealing w her lovers loss of money- time to strike w D
Edit: my ex didn’t know what hit him. He came home from travels and I moved out (super expensive house and I felt he would pay mortgage if lived there. But moved into nice condo. I took a $5000 painting, (expensive back then) , valuables, all my expensive Neiman Marcus clothes. Jewelry , TVs and a bunch of his stuff. He still asked about it a couple yrs ago- lol- 20 yrs now- I said I sold that yrs ago. Haha Still have . My only regret- I didn’t take more- and didn’t divorce sooner!
OP Get your Shitz together. Hit her while she’s still reeling. I know I sound mean- I’m not- but my ex hurt me like a knife to heart. I couldn’t take it anymore. And I left a monied life - but loveless life and it was worth it.
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u/Complex-Mind-808 9d ago
Nta. Ask yourself: how much do you really need this lack of accountability?
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u/LegitimateTeacher355 9d ago
I did something similar like this over 13 years ago to my ex and his skank.. I putt her clothing in a bin bag with bleach and dumped it in the middle of the road for the street to see 😂😂😂😂… he told me I was overreacting and I pushed him to cheat 🙄… that’s what get for dating someone older than you.. a narcissistic control freak…
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u/Friendly-Ad7226 9d ago
You’re lucky Madison is now your soon to be ex wife. She sounds like she belongs in the McDonald’s garbage can too. You deserve SO much better and better will find you!
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u/Basedspacednaced 9d ago
Is reddit just a fanfic site at this point? Do you people actually believe these stories?
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u/Infamous_Berry626 9d ago
Let her go back to the streets. She betrayed you and will continue to do so.
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u/PragmaticX 9d ago
No. She is mad now that he can not afford her. And obviously, the two are still in communication if not more.
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u/terry_banks 9d ago
AP should be pissed at his pal that went to his house for clothes instead of just lending him something to wear.
Not your problem, though. NTA.
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u/Every-Ad9325 9d ago
What does "hosed us off" mean? Like she topped both you guys off? That would be amazing
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u/LittleBack6016 9d ago
Just a thought, is she pissed that boyfriend just lost a ton of money and is experiencing financial hardships and can no longer welcome your wife with open arms into a new marriage? She was hoping to leave you for her boyfriend but doesn’t want to leave a stable financial situation with you for broke boyfriend? Otherwise why would she care about his finances?
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u/BigNathaniel69 9d ago
NTA but you might want to pull the plug. She is still quite literally choosing him over you. I’m unsure of why you let yourself buy back into her BS in the first place.
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u/Ego_Sum_Morio 9d ago
NTA, you did the right thing. Fuck that guy, and fuck her. You tried your best to during conflict resolution, and she spat in your face. I absolutely agree with everything you did. Sorry for the heartache, but I give props to you for your handling of this situation as a whole.
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u/StrizzMatik 9d ago
Never, ever take back anyone that cheats. You may as well let them know you're a doormat with zero self-esteem and that they can get away with anything. If they did it once they will do it again.
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u/cikbliss 9d ago
I'm so glad you're filing for divorce because blaming you for her affair partner's divorce is absolutely the last straw (actually for me it's the cheating itself, but I totally get it that you wanted to see if you guys can work it out).
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u/themichaelkemp 9d ago
NTA. Tell her you’d never do something like steal the shithead’s stuff when you could’ve grabbed the cricket bat
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u/mmiddle22 9d ago
What do you mean by ‘his wife had to hose us off’? Were you guys fighting? Something else???
NTA but definitely sus asl
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u/Geo_Rell 9d ago
The fact that her brain is bringing him the other guy and his divorce tells you everything brother. Let err go, how do they say it, she’s for the streets, and in South Carolina we got Crime of passion law, if you came home to them doing the nasty you had all right to go in there and do whatever you saw fit. Id normally stand with the guy but he knew she was married just like she knew he was married. They were both in the know of what each other was doing. I’m sorry you are going thru this. It’s so hard to trust ppl now adays. Can’t even trust the wife to not sleep with guys or in our bed. It’s sad
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u/stargaryen01 9d ago
You are the victim and the only voice of reason. You didn't rob shit. That's your house you can throw anything you want away. Buuuuut.... Stop letting people push you around it may be the reason she cheated. Doubt it, but there's being kind then there's being a push over. As men we all get it to some degree and women see it as them being in charge and they push it too far sometimes. Draw that line from now on
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u/Merc_Machine 9d ago
Admit nothing. You're not on trial here. Marriage is an antiquated institution. The only real benefit is taxes. I don't see why ANYONE would want to involve the government in their personal relationships. It's quite ridiculous if you think about it.
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u/TouristGeneral6474 9d ago
OP, I hope you find this comment among the other 3,000 or whatever. I feel for you, brother (sister, wtf-ever)! I hope you get filed and done with that bullshit sooner rather than later. Don’t feel too bad about her blaming you for her toy’s divorce, soon enough she’s gonna have 2 to blame you for, but you’ve seen the evidence, and she knows who’s truly at fault. She’s just acting batshit for now. She already broke down once and begged you to try counseling. Just imagine how hard she’ll beg after seeing the divorce papers. I hope you get a smile out of that, or at least relief when it’s over and you can move on.
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u/throwRA_sadpancake5 9d ago
I hope you leave her and never look back. It seems like she will never learn how to be accountable for her own actions, but luckily you don’t have to be around to find out. I can’t believe that your wife has the nerve to make it seem like it’s you’re the reason her affair partner is getting a divorce. Uh, hello she is?
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u/MiserableOptimist1 9d ago
The only thing I think you did wrong was throw the wallet away. You're wife is upset the divorce is costing him so much? Fuck him. Fuck his divorce. And fuck your wife, too. Lives getting ruined is what happens when you fuck around on your spouse.
You're not an asshole, you're a fucking hero, mate!
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u/thejoester 9d ago
NTA. If I was in your shoes in that counseling session, I would have not said a word, just stood and walked out and drove away.
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u/AmbitiousCricket5278 9d ago
Her trying to upgrade to a guy rich enough to need prenups is a massive red flag. You married a money hungry, disloyal cheating ho, don’t let her have anything if you can help it. NTA. She is
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u/Thin_Bridge1928 9d ago
Fuck that bitch…can’t really be mad at the dude cuz, I mean, he’s a dude and he’s gonna most likely take the bait if it looks good enough. A married woman who gets caught cheating gets ZERO benefit of the doubt and should be dealt with immediately. I wouldn’t have even went to “counseling” with the bitch. Fuck her. Glad you moved out. Hope you’re doing well, my brother. NTA. I probably wouldn’t have stolen his stuff, I would have busted in that room and embarrassed the (ex) wife. I woulda told dude to keep fucking her, since this is what she wanted…”don’t stop now you cheating whore, finish the job”
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u/WishSuperb1427 9d ago
NTA- And I think you already knew that answer. :)
She can blame you for whatever… they both cheated, got caught, got burned. Instant Karma really
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u/ToriBlake95 9d ago
So… let me get this straight: Madison thinks you’re at fault for her boyfriends divorce, because you moved her boyfriends clothes? Yikes… They refuse to accept any accountability for Her (Madison) or his (Madison’s Side Piece) actions. — you and The Boyfriends wife stumbled upon the truth by a coincidental series of events leading up to the discoveries; because the truth always comes out eventually. Madison and her boyfriend are the AH’s, and I’m glad you and his wife have done everything you did so far. Madison and her Bf can kick rocks, they absolutely deserve it.
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u/Slight-Exam-6448 9d ago
Typical, no accountability. She’s just asking for forgiveness because she doesn’t want to be out on her ass. That bitch cheated, in your fuckin bed! You were gonna fly home at the regularly scheduled itinerary and jump into those sheets, that you know she wouldn’t have changed, not knowing you’re laying in that dude’s sweat and jizz. Just think about what she allowed into your house and your relationship. She’s a fuckin scumbag, and you’re an idiot for even considering forgiving her. Fortunately for you, she didn’t take long to reveal her authentic self; cut that bitch off. Do yourself a favor and go pound out that dudes ex-wife. She obviously hasn’t gotten much attention from douche-canoe (I’m picturing kid in “BIG” wearing Tom Hanks’ suit walking home at the end). Just take her out to lunch to share details, and be a shoulder to cry on, then a few glasses of wine later and you’re a dick to ride on. Take out that pent up aggression for the bitch on that poor, distraught woman’s lonely pussy. She deserves it and she seems like she’d really appreciate it. Not to mention how your ex will feel about it when you let her know, sees the snap, picks up the “butt dial” you made whilst in the throes of incredibly audible passion, etc. or whatever. Have fun with it, be creative. It’ll make for a fuckin great story anyway.
Edit: Oh yeah almost forgot, definitely NotTAH
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u/p0rn04pyros 9d ago
Dude. Whatever. But let’s entertain this for a moment.. Sure nice and all but after you witnessed 1st hand her infidelity by listening to them fucking , you still “gave her another chance”. You interacted with that c*nt again. Nothing to brag about here
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u/TheUnwantedGirl7 9d ago
NTA! They deserve what was coming to them.. Hope the APs soon to be exwife gets a lot of gis assets.. Hope you have taken some evidence too so that she can't take anything from you.
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u/Bluesman001 9d ago
The fact she’s still in contact with the man and knows what’s going on says everything to me. She’s probably still fucking him.
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u/CulturalAdvance955 9d ago
I'm so sorry your wife is sh!t. You deserve so much better. I'm so proud of you for how handled the situation. It could have ended much worse. You should know that since she knows his current situation, she is still in contact with him. Possibly even still hooking up with him.
On another note, go for that divorce. Go live your best life & be happy. Sending you hugs.
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u/23qwaszx 9d ago
lol. That’s great!
Delete this shit, enjoy your divorce and find a 25 year old to bang.
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u/RoomyBrainz 9d ago
I'm so glad the other wife caught that cheating AH ❤️ also gj, OP for holding back but yeah go get your divorce now, that's one shitty wife you have.
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u/Intelligent-Cicada23 9d ago
She’s subhuman garbage. You are clearly NTA. Good on you for not taking after him with the bat. Honestly, with his car key , I probably would have had one hell of a time dropping the cloths all around the city, and running every red light camera I could find. Maybe parking it in a seedy section of town running with the keys still in it.
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u/Beau_Weston 9d ago
LongStory Short, NTA.
If she is that awesome, bang this girl or something similar, but never get back in an emotional relationship with her. She does not love you and cannot be trusted. Find better. You need a life partner, not some bitch that cheats on you when in heat.
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u/FindingPerfect9592 9d ago
Time to go… she’s delusional if she thinks you were wrong because his divorce is costing him a fortune. His and her cheating is doing that AND she did it in your bed
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u/NervousImportance991 9d ago
You should have slapped the fuck out of him, like a bitch. At the most probation for a year, with a good attorney community service!! Fuck them they deserve each other!!
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u/cheekymusician 9d ago
Fuck them. They both deserve what's coming to them, and she doesn't deserve a second chance. Once a cheater, always a cheater.
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u/Altruistic-Try8508 9d ago
This one is a fake. Or feels like it at least.
If somehow it’s not ——- the ex-wife is TA.
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u/Obv_Probv 9d ago
This sounds fake because if he called his friends to go get a spare key or something why on Earth would he not have the friend bring him clothes or something? None of it really makes sense
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u/PennyStonkingtonIII 9d ago
NTA. I was once the victim of keys left in an awkward spot. Nobody was married but it was not comfy for me to try and retrieve them. I go to get them and she tossed them out the 10th story window and I never found them. Anyway, the moral of the story is don’t leave your keys in the other room and then you won’t lose them.
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u/lemmietaste 9d ago
Hoss. Frame that divorce and hang it proudly.
My cousin's ex was eerily similar. We got together and had him a ring made. He never got a class ring from graduation days long past and always wanted one. We went to the jeweler that I used for my wedding rings and made down payment on a class ring. We got him to come pick it out. It has no class of, or school info on it. Instead, it has a date surrounding the stone, "survived witch 19xx to 19xx (wedding and divorce dates). The other side says "happily divorced".
I've wanted him to come tell his story for ages. Just got off the phone with him and have his approval.
He's long since married a good woman, and they're still happy today. He was afraid that she would be turned off by the ring when they started getting serious about each other and put it up. She noticed and asked him where his class ring was. Lol, she never looked close. He told her what it actually was, and she laughed. She loves it. She made certain it was noticeable in their wedding photos.
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u/MacMall_09 9d ago
Be careful if you stay out of your house too long she can file abandonment and keep the house.
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u/Champipple_Tanqueray 9d ago
Eff that b…h! He’s getting what he deserves for cheating on his wife and - you don’t need to spend the rest of your days wondering when your wife is going to cheat again. Good riddance to bad rubbish! You’re better off without her. Oh, NTA.
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u/whorainy 9d ago
You handled that shit like a boss dude. Everything you did was epic. Fuck that shit. Way to go!
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u/Chocolatefix 9d ago
NTA. He's lucky all you did was take his clothes. Your wife response was sucky. I'm sorry she said that to you.
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u/Fit-Nefariousness354 23m ago
I’m actually so happy for you, so happy that you saw her true colors now and can free yourself from her because the blaming the divorce on you and not her affair just reveals soooooooooooooo much about who she is, how she thinks, her mental capacity, her emotional maturity, and she definitely would’ve ruined your life and mental health one way or another, you deserve peace and not to be with such a garbage wife or just surrounded by that kind of person, I hope you find healing soon and comfort through the heartbreak, but always remember that you dodged a huge bullet and your future is way brighter now